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April 16th, 2007
06:54 pm
News: Boy I've liked all year thinks I'm disgusting. That was a really fun experience.
But I'm going to prom with Dylan Sherwood's little brother Jared, and he's a pretty cool kid, so it's all okay.
I'm giving up on relationships. If one happens, that's cool, but I'm just not going to put myself out there anymore. It's just ridiculous, because I know I'll just get hurt.
Choir trip was fun. I like the guys in choir. Funny funny people. (also very sweet)
19 days left, and that's including any days I miss for choir or band, because I don't really know what's going on. heh.
I love sleeping.
And smiles and hands and hugs, but that's a different and very friendly story.
-A
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April 2nd, 2007
11:50 pm
Today I bought a prom dress that I saw/fell in love with yesterday. And it's so pretty.
So pretty, in fact, that I suddenly have the confidence to pursue this kid I've liked all year. I tackled him after class today and told him he was going to lunch with me, and I'm thinking now would be a good time to just let go of all my insecurities.
This kid I used to date is hitting on me, and I don't know how I feel about that. hah.
I have approximately 23 days of classes left. AHH. It's so close!
-A
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March 28th, 2007
07:53 pm
( Oh Nathan, let's do it!!! )
I'm so tired and sick. I'm ready for the shows, though!
-A
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March 15th, 2007
11:15 pm
( Distractions with fiddy questions )
I completely lost my mind about 20 minutes ago. I felt myself slipping onto Lady Macbeth, which is quite terrifying. So I'm trying to get my mind off of what made me lose it.
Dear Spring Break,
Get here now and be amazing.
Love, Angie.
-A
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March 11th, 2007
08:19 am
Dear Life,
Thank you for allowing me to have such a stellar weekend.
Also, please let me find something to do over Spring Break, because I don't know if I'm down with going to Memphis with the guy who used me, because he will: a) try again, b) be all over the girl we'll be staying with, or c) rape Paul. None of which are really how I want to spend my senior year Spring Break. I wish I could go to Canada. Hello, roadtrip?
And please let this go my way for once. I realized why I still feel empty, even though I've got what I want for college and great friends. I realized what I need. Let me get it this time.
Thanks for giving me a reason,
Angie.
I finally watched Borat. SO funny.
I'm not finding the words to say right now.
-A
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/punquinheads/blue/happy.gif) happy
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March 3rd, 2007
05:10 pm
There are these little things like make-it-yourself Pockys, called Yan Yans. And they have little sayings and tidbits on them, like fortune cookies.
"Bat" Only in the night
"Mouse" Do not be timid
"Stag Beetle" Love it
"Panda" Go for more
"Beetle" Lucky colour: brown
"Starfish" Star + Fish
I especially like the last one. But if the first four are any indication (possibly the fifth, since I'm wearing brown today), I need to give this kid a call tonight.
I will. Unless I puss out. No! I'll do it! Rar.
I got a scholarship for the U of A. hah.
Digital spines look really gross.
-A
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February 26th, 2007
07:05 pm
I got my letter for Northern Illinois drama. I'm in! I'm in! I'm in! I mean, I kind of assumed that I was in with the killer interview I had, but it's nice to get the letter and not have any more doubt. Lovely!
I'm excited!
Some of you theatre kids might already know this. But this program is uber competitive. Like, hundreds audition and interview, and around 15 or so are accepted. So this is kind of a big deal.
Yay yay yay!
Today was awfully shitty, but this just brightens it right up. Now I'm drinking Gold Machine (which is amazing, by the way) and eating Botan Rice Candy (also amazing) and just enjoying this moment.
Tomorrow it's right back to hell. But right now.. it's nice.
What should I read for my last outside reading? Actually, I think I can read anything now. Because I read two Indian women. haha.
There are some things I'll miss about Fayetteville. High school is not one of them. But trees...I think I'll miss trees a lot. haha
-A
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February 25th, 2007
09:47 am
How did it happen that I've disappeared from your life?
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February 23rd, 2007
05:10 pm
I'm not a Disney princess by any stretch of the imagination, but that does not give you the right to tell me that the only role I can have in your little scheme is that of the old fat woman who has a pretty song.
Sometimes I wish that I had your approval in person, but sometimes I just think you're fucking shallow bitches who don't have the right to make me feel this way.
I'm so tired of this.
I'm tired of crying when you're not watching.
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February 20th, 2007
07:23 pm
NIU rocks. No lies. I'm so excited for next year.
I got along really well with all the students I met/had lunch with, and the professors that interviewed me were lovely. Dr Schneider (theatre aesthetics/philosophy) and I are pretty much the same person. He's so great, and he loved that I enjoy class debates. He told me that sometimes his class involves people standing on chairs and yelling at each other about philosohpy and things. I'm looking forward to that one.
I got another scholarship today. I don't know how much it's for. But yay.
I'm a little worried, however, about finishing high school. Blahhh. I wish Burke's essay had been assigned next week. And I have to read an unknown amount of Crime & Punishment, which I have not recieved from him yet. ....yay. I guess that's really the only class I'm a little freakish about, though. Math has a lot of homework, but I never do it and still get 100 on the tests. And she doesn't check the homework, so I don't feel bad not doing it. haha. Oh, Kim Thomas. When will you learn?
I get really frustrated when people complain about weight when they don't have anything to complain about. 2 pounds? Are you serious? Get over it. It's two bleeding pounds. Look around and have a reality check; you are not fat by any standards. Kindly do not make people like me endure that.
In similar news, Mum's putting me on this weird diet. I guess she doesn't want me to go to college being so fat. (I'm allowed to say that because I could loose almost half my weight and still be a healthy-sized person.) Lovely.
She confuses me so much.
Time to try this essay thing.
-A
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February 11th, 2007
11:53 am
Bullshit.
Good thing I'm not majoring in music. I would be so much more upset.
Uhhhhhhh.....
I had something important to say.
It'll come to me.
I'm going to go shopping today for interview clothes. This could make my mood go either way.
Oh! I remembered.
I got my first scholarship. $1000. It's the Centennial Scholarship at NIU. Pretty sweet.
And one of the best percussionists in the world wants to meet me when I go to NIU next week. Wants to! Kiss my ass, all-state bullshit. I know I'm better than you and I don't need an audition to prove it.
Time to do something productive.
-A
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February 8th, 2007
08:43 pm
( survey I got from MK )
Sigh.
It feels like there are a bunch of knives sticking into my shoulders and back. Fun!
There are some things I regret about you and I, but I can forgive you for that.
Am I too forgiving?
-A
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February 6th, 2007
07:17 pm
Arkansas weather is on crack. Today was so beautiful, but completely unexpected.. so I wasn't properly dressed. I walked out this morning with my big coat and scarf and was like... wtf? But I liked driving with my windows down and Ben Harper playing.
Going to NIU on the 18th-20th. Yayyy! Interview time. I'm nervous. But it'll be alright.
American Idol is hilarious. Not even kidding. hahahahaha this makes my day that much better.
I have read two books in the last two nights. Ahhhhhhhh. Lit is going to kill me. More quickly if we keep talking about things like suicide and rape. I can't talk about it. Leave me alone, Burke.
My da squeezed my shoulder the other day, and was like "Shit! You are so tense!" That means it's bad.
Spa day? Soon? Please.
-A
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January 30th, 2007
January 28th, 2007
02:10 am
Not so long ago (less than an hour ago) I was sitting at the Box feeling tired. And now that I'm home and in the clear and ready for bed... I can't sleep. What the fuck.
Blake declared that I am a chihuahua in my mannerisms (not my fault). It's kind of true with this really neat shaking feature I've got going on.
All-Region was okay. People were fun. Music was okay. Director is ON CRACK.
Robert is a man!
He is also 18!
We bought porn!
I'm glad I got out of the house and out of an overly-specific schedule for one night.
Hooray, now I'm sleepy.
-A
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January 23rd, 2007
09:51 pm - "When you think of thickets, you think of...." "..Bambi!"
Okay. Seriously, now. Losing my mind. I cried in every class today. No lie. Lit pushed me waaaay over the edge, though. Canto 13 is just really upsetting to me. I barely made it to my car before I just had to sit down and cry.
I don't remember anything about rehearsal today. We were singing something. Probably "Sit Down." Who knows. Not me.
Fitting for costumes ALWAYS sucks. There's no way around it. Nothing fit me. I don't even want to think about that right now.
I'm so close to being done with all of my applications. Feb 1 is the deadline for scholarships at NIU, then I interview on the 19th. ahhhhhhhh. And after that... I'm done. DONE. I can't wait for that day.
I got the funniest email ever today. I mean, I could take it as an insult to my morals, but I decided to take it as a compliment since everything has sucked today.
I want to see Dream Girls soon.
-A
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/punquinheads/blue/sad.gif) lost
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January 19th, 2007
10:05 pm
Today I finally got the balls to ask this guy to come with me to the film fest.
..And he stood me up.
This is a pretty good example of how I fail in relationships.
-A
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January 13th, 2007
10:41 am
So... All-Region was cancelled. It'll be later this month, I guess.
Maybe this means I'll learn my music. Maybe not.
Again, whatever.
I love rainy days.
-A
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January 12th, 2007
09:18 pm
Okay. So in past years I've said "I don't know about All-Region this year," but this time I mean it.
I haven't looked at the snare piece. At all. And the auditions are tomorrow. I know the keyboard piece, and I learned the timpani piece today (no, really). The only thing I have really going for me is sight-reading.
I really just don't give a shit anymore. I'm already in the college I want to go to, I'm not going to be a music major, they're not going to give me money for making All-Region in Arkansas. And right now, getting money for college is what I need most.. so uh.
I mean, I don't back out of auditions, so I'm going to go through with it. But I'm not expecting anything to qualify me for All-State.
Whatever.
Boys are so SO dumb.
(me) "So..What are you up to this weekend?"
(boy) "uh.. Enjoying not going to school. What are you doing?"
"Nothing. Audition Saturday, then nothing at all."
"Oh."
.........
And that's it. What?? I put forth the effort to get over my amazing inability to really talk to a guy I like, and I get nothing?? I'm such a pussy sometimes. But why does he have to make this harder?
I'm so tired.
I ripped part of my thumbnail off today. Hooray! I love bandaids.
Teateatea.
-A
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/punquinheads/blue/gloomy.gif) discontent
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January 4th, 2007
10:58 am
How is it that a guy can treat me like such shit and I still can't help but like him?
I feel broken, but I can't cry about it, and I feel like there's a chance this could be fixed and okay. But I think on some level I know that chance isn't really there.. it's just me hoping that he's not as much of an asshole as he's shown himself to be lately.
Damnit.
Even though I know I'm going to Northern Illinois (or I'm seriously going to scream), college is driving me nuts. I just want to get scholarships over with and pay and be done with it all.
I kind of want to go back to school... weird.
-A
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